


Blueberries Over Honey

by DittoKiddo



Category: Undertale, underswap
Genre: Angst, Angsty Times, Anxiety, Attempted Romance, Breakups, Ecto-Tongue, Emotional Conflict, Everyone Has Issues, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt No Comfort(sometimes), Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Reader, Jealous Sans, Jealousy, M/M, Memories, Mental Breakdown, Papyrus Has Issues, Papyrus is kinda a douchebag, Reader Has Issues, Reader is tired as fuck, Reader-Insert, Romance, Sadness, Sans Is Too Much Of A Sweetheart To Ignore You, Sans is a comforting blueberry, Self Insert, Self denial, Suicidal Thoughts, Tears will be shed, Well - Freeform, crybaby, painful memories, slight nsfw, sorry - Freeform, things'll work out somehow, tread carefully in the swampy waters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2018-09-30 18:56:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10169585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DittoKiddo/pseuds/DittoKiddo
Summary: Papyrus wasn't his usual self, and he barely talked to you anymore.Even though everything was okay with your relationship a few weeks ago, his distance was starting to get to your head...What if this distance... was making you grow feelings towards someone else?Especially towards his younger brother?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Not Strong Enough to Stay Away](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7544758) by [Niimas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niimas/pseuds/Niimas). 



> Okay, legit I've been thinking about making this ever since reading Niimas' story "Not Strong Enough To Stay Away".
> 
> It's amazing, and I love it to bits! So I give credit and love to her for her amazing story! Hey, I'm just a random Ditto tweaking the story into another universe...
> 
> Soooo, self insert, yeah, I ain't good with those so if something looks weird, don't freak. Tell me in the comments and I'll fix it!

 You looked at the clock. **11:36**

 

 He was coming in later than usual. Which was actually starting to become a routine.

 

 Sans had fallen asleep with his head resting on your lap while the TV played Napstaton's new show. You could hear his soft breaths even over the noises from the television. It was quite comforting, really.

 

 The most comforting thing in a while.

 

 You glanced at the clock again. Only a few minutes had pass since you last checked, but it felt like an eternity. Never had he been out this late before...

 

 You were becoming tired, your eyes sometimes closing on their own without warning, but you were determined to stay awake until the familiar unlocking of the door was heard.

 

 You turned your head around in a quick motion, seeing the familiar and loving figure closing the door behind him.

 

 Papyrus looked up, his own eyes looking tired and out of breath while a cigarette stuck out from his mouth. You remembered the time you told him to stop that habit.

 

  _"Papyrus, stop smoking! Your lungs will turn black if you keep doing that!"_

 

_"Welp, sweetie, good thing I don't have any then."_

 

_"I'm serious Papyrus!"_

 

_"Hehe, okay then, but only if you give me a kiss."_

 He had leaned in and given you a quick kiss, but nonetheless it had still flushed your cheeks with a crimson red. He chuckled at it and had given you a small smile.  _"Heh, how cute."_

 

 

 That was months ago.

 

 You stood up gently, careful to not wake Sans up. You didn't want him intertwined with your ordeals. He didn't need to be dragged into your problems.

 

 "Where were you?" You asked him with a harsh whisper.

 

 At first, he looked at you with tired eyes. Then they moved over to Sans, who slept on the couch. He looked conflicted with his words, as if not knowing what to say. He spoke in a low whisper.

 

 "I'm going to my room." He started walking towards the stairs until you blocked his path. This was too much. You didn't know if you'd collapse or scream or cry. What were you supposed to do?

 

 "Why won't you answer me?" Your voice cracked slightly as Papyrus gave you a cold glare in response.

 

 "Why won't you get out of my fucking way?"

 

 You didn't like angering him, as you did once before, and you stepped backwards away from him. You awkwardly looked down at your feet to avoid his gaze, feeling his stare go through you. You looked up and, somehow, quickly saw a glimpse of real sympathy, real feeling, until that too was shrouded in his emotionless expression. He turned away and headed to his room.

 

 "I'm going to sleep. I have work tomorrow." He walked drunkenly up the stairs and into his bedroom, closing the door with a quiet click of the door locking. Well,  _your_ bedroom as well, but it had been a month since you two last slept together in the same _bed_ , let alone the same  _room_.

 

 You sighed, feeling the twisted remnants of what was love shattering from your soul. That was probably the hundredth time he'd refused to answer you. You didn't think you were  _that_ clingy, you just wanted to know where he was so that you wouldn't be worried all the time.

 

 You turned off the TV with the remote and just stood in silence, relishing in the darkness that had become your friend.

 

 You went back over to where Sans slept, knowing that today would be another night on the couch. 

 

 You gently nudged Sans awake.

 

 "Sans, wake up. You need to go back to your room." 

 

 "MMMN, WHAT?" Sans sleepily rubbed his eyes as he sat up slowly. "IS THIS A DREAM? WHY IS IT SO DARK?"

 

 You laughed, though it sounded forced even to you. "Heh, sorry, but no. You need to go on to bed, you and Papyrus have work tomorrow remember?"

 

 This seemed to catch his attention as he swung his head to the location of your voice. He couldn't see you. "OH, DID PAPYRUS COME BACK ALREADY?!" 

 

 "...Yeah."

 

 "WHERE IS HE?"

 

 "He's... asleep for now. He seemed really tired, so don't go bothering him okay?" 

 

 Sans pouted as a yawn escaped from him. "HMMM, OKAY." Luckily, he didn't ask where Papyrus had been. You wouldn't have been able to answer that.

 

 He stretched his arms as he rose up and started heading to his own room when he stopped and turned around. He was slightly turned to your right, not knowing where you were.

 

 "UM, WHY ARE THE LIGHTS OUT AGAIN?"

 

 "The electricity bill was pretty high this month. I'm... trying to save money."

 

 "OH!... I SEE." He didn't move. You would have made a joke about that, since you were both in the dark and, of course, he couldn't have been able to see anything. But you didn't know if your voice would hold long enough if your memories were to conjure again.

 

 He fidgeted, his body slightly swaying.

 

 "ARE YOU.... STILL SLEEPING ON THE COUCH?"

 

 You froze. "Well... kinda..." You prepared for Sans' question. You knew what was on his mind. You knew what he wanted to ask. You knew that he was worried, and yet you said nothing.

 

 "DO YOU WANNA COME SLEEP WITH ME?" He asked cheerfully, not meaning it in a lover kind of way but more of a friendly way. You were glad he kept his personal questions to himself. Either you'd have a breakdown, or you'd laugh hysterically if the question came up.

_Why?_

 

 It was a nice offer, but you declined. "Sorry Sans, but I think I'll be fine."

 

 "ARE YOU SURE?"

 

 To be honest, you could feel yourself crumbling. You could hear the pure worry in his voice. "Yeah, I'll be fine down here."

 

 He stayed for another minute before heading up. You didn't dare move until you heard the shuffle of the carpet beneath his feet slip into his room and the click of his door closing. 

 

 You were glad it was dark. You didn't want Sans to see your tear streaked face. You didn't want him to see you crying silently.

 

 But most of all, you didn't want his empathy. You didn't need it. You didn't deserve it.

 

 You sat on the couch, holding your head in your hands. How long until the suspense killed you? How long til you couldn't feel the warm and loving feelings you used to have for Papyrus?

 

 How long.... until he breaks up with you?

 

 Wiping the translucent liquid from your eyes, you found a blanket that Sans must've put out earlier in the day and wrapped yourself in it. It smelled faintly of detergents and buttercups.

 

 You remembered the time when Papyrus had cuddled up with you on the same couch, hugging his warm body close to yours while setting his chin on your head as the plot of a movie unfolded.

 

 Now, the only warmth you had was a blanket. 

 

 The thought alone made you tear up again. Vigorously rubbing your eyes, you wrapped yourself even tighter.  _It's alright. Everything will be okay. You're fine. Things will go back to normal._

 

 But you knew it wouldn't. Deep inside, you knew nothing would be the same. How could anything be alright afterwards? Explanations courses through your head, possibilities being thrown here and there, but you didn't know which one was the correct reason. Which one was the one breaking your relationship? 

 

 You didn't want to be the one to break your bond, no matter how painful. This was the only time you'd ever felt so connected, so serious, about a relationship. You didn't want it to end. And yet, you knew it was for the best if it was short and simple to end it all now. Or else it'd hurt much more later on.

 

 But before you could dwell on this fact, sleep flowed through your veins, strength to keep your eyes from closing slowly ebbed away as darkness swallowed you up in it's black embrace. Stress leaped from your body as the darkness descended to the very corners of your brain, absorbing all of your worried thoughts. 

 

 Your eyes closed, welcoming the dark...

 

 Wondering what tomorrow would bring next, the end or the beginning?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moar attempted depressing writings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, broskis just enjoy the story ¦)

 The morning brightness blinded you as you spotted the open window to your left. The sun seemed to glow as you slept under its haze. You checked the time. 

 

**8:36**

 

 Papyrus and Sans would've went to work already. You got up, stiffening a yawn as you stretched your arms upwards. Looking around, everything looked as normal as it should be. 

 

 Except the fact that you heard a noise upstairs.

 

 Knowing the fact that you were supposed to be alone made this quite terrifying. But not as terrifying as what you've been dealing with at the moment. Of course, what's more terrifying than knowing of a not-so-sudden break up?

 

 You carefully folded the blanket neatly and set it on the other end of the couch, slowly walking up the stairs towards the noise. It sounded like a faint creaking.

 

 It started getting a bit louder once you stepped onto the second floor. It wasn't coming from Papyrus' room, but Sans' room. Oddly enough, his door was also cracked open. Sans and Papyrus always liked their own little privacy, especially since you moved in, so it was weird for his door to be that way.

 

 You neared the room, hearing slight grunting noises as well. Was this a break in? Surely enough, Sans wouldn't forget to close his window, right? Hopefully...

 

 Thinking to yourself, you grabbed the closest thing to you that could be used as a weapon: 

 

 A... cane?

 

 Okay then, a cane it was. You raised it behind your shoulder like a bat.

 

 "W-Whose there?" You shouted out. The strange noise stopped, and silence followed. Like, deep silence. You couldn't hear anything other than your raspy breathing.

 

 You pushed the door open quickly and got back to your stance. Though the sound of the door opening scared the shat out of you. Freaking creaky doors.  

 

 Good thing you had an extra pair of unused panties.

 

 You walked in carefully, examining everything. Nothing looked out of place, that you  _thought_ was out of place. 

 

 Were there ever ghosts in the house? Well, saying that there were walking skeletons around, you didn't exactly drop the idea. But something caught your eyes. 

 

 The bed was... wrinkled. Blue never liked things being uneven or messy. He was tidy and neat. But the covers looked as if a tornado had hit just a few seconds ago.

 

 Feeling like it was just wrong and not wanting to question why, you took the time to straighten everything up. It wasn't like him to have left his bed this way. You've spent enough time with the skeletons to... know their usual behaviors. Maybe there was something on his mind? That was when you found it.

 

 You cocked your head to the side and raised it up with your hand. The bright blue bandana was soft and silky. Yep, something was definitely up. He never left without his scarf, and he would _never_ leave _knowing_ that he didn't have it with him. 

 

 Maybe the conversation you both had last night was troubling him? Or maybe... he was awake when you were arguing with Papyrus...

 

 You remembered Papyrus' voice, low and gruff like everything was the world's fault. Like everything was  _your_ fault. Feeling a prickling sensation near your eyes, you wiped your sleeve across your face, hoping that the feeling would go away.

 

 Not wanting to think on it, you folded the bandana neatly and set it on the corner of the bed. You needed to be moving, doing something to take your mind off of the current things happening in your life.

 

 Sighing and setting the cane where it originally was, you went to the bathroom to take care of your morning business. Heading downstairs, you also grabbed something to eat before getting started. You weren't gonna deprive yourself of food, hell, food was becoming your bae. Then, after that, you got to cleaning.

 

 To be honest, there wasn't much to clean since the house wasn't awfully big. Blue already liked keeping things organized, and Papyrus was rarely at home anymore. So all you had to do was dust some things and literally walk around, looking for things in need of cleaning.

 

 A few hours later, you sat down on the couch and looked at the clock again.

 

  **1:08**

 

Wow, time really does fly when you're alone.  It didn't help that most of what you were doing was walking around in circles, stuck in your thoughts, stuck in your head, waiting. It didn't help that you couldn't bare to go into Papyrus' room, for the memories would overpower you. And it certainly didn't help that Blue could've heard the argument last night.

 

 You tried your best to hide away your distrust and your talks with Papyrus from Blue, and Papyrus vice versa. But it seemed like you were both falling ill of that nature. One day, one of you would explode right in front of him, and there'd be nothing holding either of you back.

 

 The thought was unsettling.

 

 You sat down on the green couch. It was newer than the old one since Blue decided they needed to get rid of the old thing. It still smelled of factory chemicals, but you didn't mind. It reminded you of your old house after all.

 

 Turning on the TV, you watched a couple shows: NTT's Showbiz, Stranger Things, NTT's DJ Dancefloor, and The Walking Undead. They were pretty interesting, to say the least.

 

 After an hour passed, there was a knock at the door. Weird, Sans or Papyrus never came home at this time. So it must be someone else. Lowering the volume of the TV and getting up, you opened the door to see a surprising face.

 

 "Oh, Nice Cream. What are you doing here?" Surprisingly, your friend scrambled to spit his cigarette out of his mouth when you had suddenly opened the door without any warning. But instead of spitting it out, it went down his mouth and got lodged in his throat, his eyes widening as he doubled over and struggled to cough it out. 

 

 You tried to bite back a laugh, but you bursted open when he was visibly dying. You slightly pounded his back to help him out, his eyes watering, and yours as well from laughing too much. When he seemed to have spit it out, a few embers still alight on the ground, he stood back up and shoved his hands into his pockets, looking to the side.

 

 "Y-Yo." He grimaced as if his throat was sore.

 

 You struggled to hold back a giggle. "I though you quit smoking already."

 

 He rubbed his neck and looked to the side. "Sh-Shut up. Can I come in?"

 

 You stood to the side as he strolled in. You would've said no, but him being one of your best friends and you needing to talk to someone, it didn't seem the right thing to do. Plus, it was starting to snow outside. You hoped the brothers would come home safely.

 

 Nice Cream Guy sat on the sofa, sighing as his eyes drifted to the TV in disgust. NTT's show had come on, and evidently, Napstaton was also his boss. 

 

 You sat beside him, sighing yourself. "So, you came here for a reason. Why not tell me already?"

 

 His eyes had bags under them and he started digging into his pockets, possibly trying to find his cig and lighter again when you put a hand on his. He glanced at you, then looked at the floor, muttering a 'thank you' for stopping him.

 

 Sitting in silence wasn't so hard, since you were already doing that so often. It didn't take long for Nice Cream to break the silence.

 

 "That NTT bastard. I fucking hate that robot and his smug looks." He was shaking a little, from the cold or anger you didn't know. 

 

 "Did you get laid off again?" You asked as your hand remained on his. It felt good to have contact with someone, although it felt awkward and wrong. 

 

 "Yeah, just cuz I sent a rude ass customer away."

 

 You laughed a little. "Hah, I would've done the same in your place."

 

 He chuckled a little, but it sounded dry. "Not if it was the only job you could get admitted to."

 

 Another silence followed after that. It was nice to have the presence of someone different, someone who understood.

Someone who could relate to you.

 

 It was like this all the time. To be honest, your first monster friend was this weirdo who appeared rude and menacing when you first met him. But after spending time with him, you both painfully grew slowly on each other, and eventually, turned into best buds. 

 

 You both always conceived each other with problems that were happening, and as always, were there for each other. 

 

 But you'd never told him about what was happening in your relationship.

 

 His voice was back to his original, no anger or anything maddeningly present in his tone. "So, where're the bros?"

 

 You stood up, stretching your arms up towards the ceiling.

 "Working. I'm cleaning the house."

 

 He looked around with an unimpressed look. "Well, good luck on that."

 

 You lightly punched his shoulder. "Shut up, I already cleaned the place asshole."

 

 A smile formed on his face. "Alright, geez lady, know when someone's joking."

 

 "Same yourself." You returned his smile. "Anyway, you hungry?"

 

 He shrugged. "I guess. I haven't eaten since 6 a.m."

 

 You both walked into the kitchen. You took out the leftover tacos Sans had made yesterday for dinner and put them into the microwave. When you started eating, Nice Cream turned into the old lemon fart that he was and started criticizing the contradicting flavors and textures in the taco he was eating. But you silence him with a glare, knowing just how proud Sans had been with the finishing result.

 

 You didn't know how much time had passed since you and Nice Cream had started talking. It'd been such a long time since you'd had a full face to face conversation with him, and it was a nice change. You both had... some different and expressed opinions about things, but at least both of you listened. 

 

 It made you sad. How much you missed such small talk in such a short period of time was odd. 

 

 It hadn't occurred to you to check the time when there was a sudden click of the door unlocking. You swirled your head around, wide eyes meeting with Papyrus'.

 

 "P-Paps..." You hoped the situation you were in didn't look bad. You were just having a friendly conversation with Nice Cream!

 

 His eyes glazed to Nice Cream's, then to you. He didn't seem the slightest mad... or even...

 

 Jealous...

 

 

 "Whose him?" Papyrus' voice was gruff and uncaring. You flinched at his words.

 

 "Nice Cream, remember? I... told you about him..." your voice almost cracked. You didn't know why Papyrus didn't recognize him. You showed a picture of you and him together with your arms around you two's shoulders when you first brought him up. Papyrus had already knew the guy, and said you couldn't meet up with Nice Cream alone anymore.

 

_"Why not?"_

 

_His cheeks grew a faint orange. "Cuz I'll get jealous you dingus."_

 

_You smiled, and promised that you wouldn't._

 

 But you guessed that promise didn't matter anymore.

 

 Papyrus passed you two without another look, thumping up the stairs and locking himself in his room, again.

 

 Why? What was wrong with you?

 

 Nice Cream cleared his throat. "Okay, what the hell was your boyfriend's problem?"

 

 You gulped, but put on a smile when you faced him. "I think you should go home now, Nice Cream."

 

 He raised his eyebrows. "Not until you tell me what's going on." He scooted closer to you. 

 

 You stood up, hugging him tightly.

 

 Weird, you didn't want to let go.

 

 "I'll... tell you later okay? It's not that important..." You smiled at him, urging him to understand that it was not a subject you were yet comfortable talking about.

 

 He didn't say anything as he prepared to leave. He stepped outside, but turned around and gave you another hug.

 

 "I don't know anything yet, but if he does anything to you, you  _better_ tell me the fuck right away." 

 

 For a moment, you thought you would burst into tears. But you held it in. 

 

 He let go and went down the steps of the porch before turning around again. "You better tell me, shithead!"

 

 You laughed. "Okay, dipshit, I will!"

 

 And with that, he disappeared into the falling snow.

 

 

 

 You never knew how much you were missing a friend until now...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've passed all that sadness and made it here, give yourself a pat on the back.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans just wants some time with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're actually still reading this, thanks, I appreciate that!  
> Also, sorry for not updating in a long while. TvT my fault on that

 It was too early in the morning, where it was still dark as all hell outside, when you felt a pair of gloves slowly shake you. You turned away from it, facing the other side of the couch, when it shakes you again. 

 

 "HEY Y/N, DO YOU WANT TO..." It sounded like Sans, but surprisingly his voice was brought down to a harsh whisper.

 

 Not even knowing or hearing what he said since you were tired, you slowly shook your head up and down, eyes still closed. Why was he bothering you when you just wanted some sleep? He'd leave you be if you just said yes or something.

 

 From the sounds of it, he must've said some other things to you before actually moving. But instead of going away, he moves the small strands of hair from your face and plants a kiss on your forehead, muttering something else.

 

 Then suddenly, you felt him plant smaller, quicker kisses down your cheek, leading down to your jaw. But he stopped at the edge of your lips. Even when your eyes were closed, you could feel his stare. The intense silence was present before he moved away.

 

 You don't move until the front door opens and his footsteps leave the house. Silence drags on as the clock's ticking slows down.

 

 You get up, touching the top of your forehead, then your cheek. 

 You were practically burning up. Remembering how gentle the small kisses were didn't do anything but feed the fire.

 

 Just what?

* * *

 

 You tiredly washed the dishes, making sure to scrub each and every one of them clean. Thank the goddess there weren't too many. Sans' cooking classes with Alphys now took place at her house after a little... incident that happened in the kitchen that somehow charred some of the windows. Take note that you were the only one that cleaned up afterwards.

 

 After the dishes, you cleaned out the fridge. Weirdly enough, monster food didn't seem to... rot or mold at all. Except your Chinese take-out from around 2 weeks ago that you totally forgot about. Man, those gyozas were the bomb.

 

 Well, you started to throw away the food that _was_ going bad, until you heard the front door opening. Raising your head out of the fridge, you heard loud footsteps run up the stairs and throw open a couple doors. Sighing, you picked up the multiple containers that looked too green to be good anymore and threw them away, all while hearing the person running around upstairs in desperate search.

 

 "Sans? What're you doing?" You called up at him when you saw his blue bandana flash between doors. He stopped abruptly and turned around.

 

 "OH, THERE YOU ARE Y/N!" He yelled when he saw you. He jumped swiftly over the second floor railings and landed perfectly on his feet. Whenever he had started doing that, it always worried you that he'd hurt himself. But now that he was much more fit and possibly more flexible than you'd ever be, you just hoped he wouldn't break the railings.

 

 "I'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU! I EVEN CHECKED THE ATTIC!" He said, not missing a beat. He wasn't even breathing hard after all that running.

 

 Also, they had an attic?

 

 You tilted your head to the side. "I was in the kitchen cleaning. What's going on?"

 

 He smiled that childish grin of his. "WE'RE GOING TO NAPSTATON'S MUSEUM!"

 

 "We are?"

 

 "YEAH! I ASKED YOU WHEN I WAS HEADING TO WORK THIS MORNING!"

 

 Oh, so that's what it was about. And you had blindly said yes too. You didn't really want to go anywhere besides stay home since it was freezing outside. Maybe monster's were just used to the cold.

 

 Remembering that morning also reminded you of the strange kisses. Heat rose to your cheeks as Sans stared at you in confusion.

 

 "ARE YOU OKAY? YOU'RE TURNING PRETTY RED!" Sans went up closer to your face, making you step back.

 

 "I-I'm fine." You said. Maybe he did it out of sheer worry. Yeah, knowing the guy, it probably didn't mean anything. For some reason, this thought made you feel depressed. As if you needed to feel any worse than you already did.

 

 "So, when are we going?"

 

 "RIGHT NOW!"

 

 "R-Right now?"

 

 "YES! GEEZ, HOW CAN YOU BE SO SLOW? GO GET DRESSED BEFORE THE PLACE BECOMES TOO CROWDED!"

 

 Oh yeah, you were still in your pajamas since dressing up for no occasion except to stay home didn't bring much comfort. You walked into Papyrus' room, making sure not to look around too much, and grabbed your clothing. Layers were definitely going to be needed.

 

 Locking the bathroom door, you could hear Sans excitedly rambling your plans with him for the day.

 

 "ALPHYS SAID IT WAS OKAY FOR ME TO FINISH MY SHIFT EARLY AND PAPYRUS DIDN'T MIND ME TAKING YOU TO THE NEW MUSEUM! ALTHOUGH I DID SUGGEST FOR HIM TO TAG ALONG AS WELL, BUT HE SAID HE WAS TOO TIRED TO DO ANYTHING! PLUS, ALPHYS PROBABLY WOULDN'T EVEN LET HIM GO EITHER WAY SINCE HE'S MISSED SO MANY DAYS. MY BROTHER IS JUST SO LAZY!"

 

 "He sure is." You responded so that he knew you didn't accidentally fall and break your neck, though that path would've been fine.

 

 "OH YEAH! THE MUSEUM IS GOING TO BE HUGE! AND OUTSIDE IS NICE TOO, SINCE SNOW IS EVERYWHERE AND ALL! EVERYTHING IS ALL WHITE AND PRETTY! WELL, EVERYTHING IS ALREADY PRETTY, BUT IT'S SO MUCH BETTER HERE THAN ANYWHERE ELSE! ALSO, DID YOU KNOW THAT THE MUSEUM..."

 

 He continued to talk as you finished changing into your winter clothes. Tying your hair into a bun and covering it with a toboggan, you slid into your comfy sweater and finished it off with a fluffy jacket that Sans had given to you on your birthday. 

 

 Unlocking the door, you threw your pajamas into a casket and made your way down using the stairs. No way in hell were you going to attempt a 'Sans jump' over the rails. You'd rather break a leg, which is exactly what would happen if you  _did_ try that.

 

 You got down just as Sans finished his sentence, making him look at you.

 

 "..."

 

 "You don't have to pretend that I'm not fat."

 

 A hint of blue formed on his cheeks. "W-WHAT?! THE MAGNIFICENT SANS WOULD NEVER THINK LIKE THAT TOWARDS HIS BEST FRIEND! YOU LOOK GREAT IN FACT! IT'S JUST THAT... I'M SURPRISED YOU'RE WEARING THE JACKET I GAVE YOU! I WAS EXPECTING TO SEE YOU IN ONE OF MY BROTHER'S SWEATERS SINCE YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER!"

 

 You flinched. Today wasn't a day where you wanted to be discussing this. Hell, when was it? His hoodies were in fact pretty comfortable and lit to be in, but with this tight situation playing out and his possible anger being directed towards you, you decided it was best you didn't touch any of his things.

 

 You slightly chuckled instead. "Oh, well, I just wanted to wear this jacket instead since it's fluffier and warmer. Plus, Pap's clothes are starting to smell. I'll have to do the laundry later today." It was a little bit of a half-assed answer, you admit, but it was better than straight up lying to him.

 

 He laughed in a carefree manner. "NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO BE THINKING ABOUT LAUNDRY! IT'S ONLY TIME TO BE THINKING ABOUT HAVING FUN AND ENJOYING OURSELVES!" He grabbed your hand, weirdly intertwining your fingers with his, and dragged you out the door. You didn't even know if you had properly closed the door, let alone locked it.

 

 But Sans' excitement didn't take long to spread to you and soon you were smiling along with him, not a worry or care clamping your mind like usual. The feeling felt amazing, even in the freezing cold. The cold air, the sound of laughter and chatter among known acquaintances, the light snow still falling since yesterday, and the complete pure whiteness of it all. Wow, Sans wasn't lying when he said the snow was pretty, heck, it was gorgeous!

 

 It just occurred to you that you hadn't even once looked out of the windows in the house.

 

 Sans eventually slowed down so that you two were walking side-by-side. You always loved the charm in his eyes and the way people casually greeted him on the streets. It wasn't surprising that probably every person in the city knew Sans by now. He was a known and loyal member of the Royal Guardsmen, who served Toriel, the Queen of Monsters.

 

 The fact that crime and theft (after the Royal Guardsmen were distributed throughout the city) went down, it was pretty nice and peaceful here. It use to be run by lots of gangs and drug lords since it was secluded and surrounded by mountains. But after they were taken out, the place was thriving with life and color. It was a great change for the city, plus the collaboration and integration between the Queen and the government went swell, so that happened.

 

 Sans pointed to a big stadium like building, having the letters 'NTT' plastered at the top with blue sparkles and a silhouette of a person behind it. He seemed so excited that you couldn't help but laugh at him. 

 

 At the front was a ticket booth and a long ass line. Literally it was pooling into the streets. Well, it wasn't unexpected since the place had just opened up a couple days ago.

 

 You followed Sans to the back of the line, where people were already lining up behind you. There seemed to be thousands of people, humans and monsters alike, but the line was moving pretty fast that it didn't take long for Sans and you to reach the booth.

 

 And surprise and behold, the person occupying the booth was none other than Nice Cream.

 

 "Nice Cream?" You spoke when it was your turn. He looked up with bags of sleep under his eyes, but they seemed to disappear once he saw you and Sans.

 

 "Yo Y/N, Sans. What're'ya guys doin' 'ere?"

 

 "BUYING OUR TICKETS OF COURSE!" Sans spoke cheerfully.

 

 To be honest, he looked like shit. His ears were drooping and his clothes looked like they hadn't been washed in ages, although you two had just talked yesterday. While he was getting the tickets, you decided to question him. "I thought you said Napstaton laid you off yesterday."

 

 "Yeah, until he called me at 12 in the fucking morning to take ticket duty."

 

 "WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?" Sans asked, almost as if he was feeling left out.

 

 "Nothin'. Here, I got both of you some Special Tickets instead of the normal ones. Expensive as shit cause they're twice the price but since it's you guys, I'll let it slide. Don't tell anyone, or else I'll be losing my job. Again." Nice Cream handed out two golden tickets with pictures of headphones on them and smirked. Well, it wouldn't be the first time he got fired. Then re-hired.

 

 "Thanks!" You and Sans said in unison as you both entered the double doors.

 

 Sans patted your shoulder as you entered the hallway. "HE'S JUST YOUR FRIEND RIGHT?"

 

 "What?"

 

 "NICE CREAM! HE'S NOTHING MORE, RIGHT?"

 

 "Other than my best friend, I guess."

 

 His face fell. "BUT AREN'T I YOUR BESTEST FRIEND!"

 

 You laughed and reassuringly put your hand on his. "I can have two best friends. He's my bitchy friend and you're my amazing, cuddly, skeleton best friend in the whole universe!"

 

 He turned cyan at your statement. "W-WOWIE! WELL I GUESS I AM, Y/N! MWEH-HE-HE!" Then he paused. He looked as if he wanted to say more about the topic, but didn't. He still smiled at you though. "BUT PLEASE REFRAIN FROM USING BAD WORDS!"

 

 You both laughed, earning a couple strange gazes from other people, as the end of the hallway came near. The doors had the royal insignia, probably approved by the Queen, and were **huge**. Not the kind you see at fancy mansions, no, it was like twice the size of barn doors. Sans grabbed your hand again as you were about to open the door, hearing faint music behind it.

 

 You gave Sans a quizzed look as he turned cyan again. 

 

 "S-SO WE WON'T GET LOST IN THE CROWDS!" Eh, if it made him comfortable and happy, you'd allow it.

 

 You gave the door a shove, expecting it to be heavy, but surprisingly it was lightweight. Pushing the door open, you were hit with sparkles and loud music. The ground was lighting up with different colors and the ceiling had an enormous disco ball hanging from it, reflecting all of the different colors possible. Basically, it wasn't your typical quiet museum. It was more of a club than anything.

 

 There were relics of the famous idol Napstaton everywhere, paintings, statues, you name it and it'd be there. Maybe monsters just weren't familiar with the term 'museum'.

 

 People were everywhere, crowded around different objects and taking pictures, not even bothered by the loud music playing and the trippy lights.

 

 "OOH! LET'S GO OVER THERE FIRST!!!" Sans said as he dragged you across the room to a perfect statue of Napstaton's head carved from marble. 

 

 You spent some time with Sans at the gallery near the entrance before moving on to the rest of the 'museum', where the music was still blaring but the lights had dimmed. It was actually starting to get fun as you got used to the music and really started observing the place. This Napstaton guy really knew what he was doing.

 

 After a while, Sans explained the specialty of the so-called Special Tickets. It would allow us front row seats to NTT's concert in an upcoming hour and let us have special access to some places other people can't go to, like the all-you-can-eat buffet and a balcony that overlooks the whole city. Stuff like that.

 

 And so for an hour, you decided it was best if you two went to the places others were restricted from entering. It satisfied you when you saw looks of jealousy and envy from people. No, it made you feel kinda happier knowing that you were at least a little more  _special_. 

 

 Sans didn't argue with your plan and went along happily. The buffet was first though, you both agreed, and second was the unknown ice rink. Yeah, a fucking  _ice rink_ inside of a _museum_. This place was awesome.

 

 Time went by like it never had before. The food at the buffet was great, and the ice rink was cold as balls, but after a few falls and fails with Sans, skating across the ice was never easier. You had to admit, it was the most fun you'd had in months. Your thoughts left you and all you were was a bundle of laughter, laughing along Sans as you made your way up the stairs to the balcony, the last place Sans and you would visit before attending the last attraction of the night.

 

 Sans got there first and excitedly squealed in amazement as you two were the only ones there. The cold air blasted at your face, refreshing you once again for awesomeness. The crescent in the sky lit up the balcony with a soft blue glow, contradicting the building lights that were shining below you. Truly a beautiful sight.

 

 "TODAY WAS AMAZING WASN'T IT?!" Sans said as he also looked over the city. You nodded in agreement, a little sad that it would all be ending so soon after the last NTT performance.

 

 "YEAH, TOO BAD PAPYRUS DIDN'T GET TO COME WITH US!"

 

 Well, your inner feelings came back and you finally had the chance to jump off of a high place. Ah, the thought was settling. "Heh, that's his fault..."

 

 A silence followed after that. It was nice to be away from the music and chatter, but somehow you still felt uneasy with Sans beside you, shoulder by shoulder. Right now he felt more intimidating, and you think you know why.

 

 "There's something wrong... isn't there?" You were shocked at how quiet Sans' voice got. Usually it was the loud whisper, but now his voice was pretty much the quietest it's ever been. It shocked you more than it did his question.

 

 "I-I don't know what you mean." You laughed it off. "There's nothing wrong Sansy!" Yes, there was nothing wrong. Everything would go back to the way they were. It was okay.

 

 He still stared at you. God, why was he staring at you like you just lied to him? Why did he look like he was guilty? What were you doing?

 

 "Y/n... please. I... I see it in your eyes. You don't even want to go outside anymore... and you flinch all the time like you're remembering something bad." He sighed and looked away. "Today was the only time I didn't see any of that. I just wanted you to be happy and enjoy yourself. With Papyrus. But..." Oh shit, was he crying?!

 

 You frantically waved your hands in the air. "B-But I did enjoy myself and I had a great time! The best time I've had in a long while! Sans, you did nothing wrong, I promise! I swear on my SOUL that today was the best day ever!"

 

 You saw his watery eyes glance up at you. You looked down to avoid his eyes. "Okay. I will admit that I was a bit down. But I'm happy now." You placed a hand on top of his. "Thank you for today." You smiled gently at him.

 

 You were telling the truth. You  _are_ happy. But it scared you that it wouldn't last long. The doubts would come again, you knew.

 

 Sans put his own hand around yours. "You aren't lying?"

 

 "Nope."

 

 He threw his arms around your neck, hugging you tightly. "I-I know I don't know the whole story of whatever is bothering you so much, but I do know that you can tell me or Papyrus anything, okay!?"

 

 You smiled and hugged him back. So he didn't know. Good. It wasn't any of his business anyway. It never was and it never will be.

 

 Then suddenly,  Sans jerked away from you. "OH NO! WE FORGOT ABOUT THE PERFORMANCE!"

 

 First, ow your ears. And second, you were glad that that intervention happened. You allowed Sans to tug you away from the balcony in hurry as you stared blankly at the back of his skull.

 

 What were these feelings? Self hate? Loathe? Guilt? Argh, what was it!? It hurt your heart and it confused your head. Your stomach was in knots and it gave you butterflies. It felt similar to the... the feelings you got when you first met Papyrus. But it couldn't be, you were just imagining them all over again because of the lack of affections and love you were getting from Papyrus. 

 

 No, no it was all in your head.

 

 Why were you such an asshole?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to change things up a bit! XD
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys! I just wanna take some advice from the people still reading/waiting for this. Would you rather have shorter chapters(probably will be in parts) that come out quicker, or have longer chapters(kinda like this one?) that will have you waiting a bit longer but won't be in short segments?  
> Let me know in your comments and I'll see which is popular!
> 
> (Or if no one decides which, I'll be switching between them so peeps don't get angry ;-;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He just doesn't understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think I'm ever gonna upload fast, it's not possible for a lazy ass like me.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, this is taking place from Sans POV, as some of you wished ;)

 His alarm spammed him awake as he slowly opened his eyes. He looked at the time. 4:30 like always.

 

 Yawning, he turned over and pressed the off button. Well, here's the start of his day.

 

 Sans quickly put his regular clothing on, making sure every detail was perfect. Then he went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Even though everything went normally for Sans, he couldn't shake off the feeling that something was, well, wrong. 

 

 He wasn't sure what it was, but after leaving the bathroom and looking over the balcony, he could see why.

 

He... still didn't get why Y/n was always sleeping on the couch. It was like when you first arrived here after Papyrus introduced you to him. Like you were a stranger.

 

 You used to sleep with his brother all the time. And you were happy about it! You always looked forward to cuddles and such, even with him! One time they had a cuddle competition on who could cuddle the best. Needless to say, he always won!

 

 It was... really fond memories.

 

 When did they stop? He couldn't remember the last time the three of them hung out like that. Where they always took some time off to spend a day together by watching movies or playing puzzles and games! 

 

 But now, his brother spent most of his time working and at Muffet's. And you never left the house anymore after you lost your job. House cleaning wasn't a big issue, but you had insisted that you'd do something at home while you waited for your job applications to be accepted. The ones you sent just haven't come back yet.

 

 He wondered what you weren't telling him. 

 

 After he saw your expression when you picked up his bandana on his bed yesterday, he had concluded everything.

 

 He could tell from months ago when everything started falling apart. You didn't have that vibrant color in you anymore after you lost your job, and Papyrus looked even more depressed than he'd ever had, not mentioning that he _pretended_ he was okay. And that Papyrus _always_ kept secrets from him.

 

 You were turning into someone he couldn't recognise, and his brother was going further away from him. He wanted to do something with you two, as a family again. Like old times.

 

 Maybe going to the new museum would be a good idea?

 

 Sans silently crept down the stairs, as jumping over the railings would create loud creaks that'd certainly wake you up.

  

 He made his way over to your sleeping form, watching with sad eyes. Sans padded closer, seeing all the little strands of hair that had fallen due to your rough tossing and turning.

 

 He didn't know if he should wake you. But he needed to ask. Slowly, he shook your arm, causing a disturbance in your sleep. He shook you again, this time making you turn around distastefully.

 

 "HEY Y/N, DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE NEW NTT MUSEUM TODAY? I MEAN, WHEN I COME BACK HOME FROM WORK?" He tried to whisper quietly, but his voice let out harsher than he'd preferred. 

 

 Without making a sound though, you slowly nod your head, eyes squinting shut at his interference as your mouth turned into a little pout. He smiled. You looked so... normal, as if his worries were just him being paranoid. As if your troubles were nonexistent.

 

 But he knew it wasn't.

 

 "OKAY, I-I'M GOING TO GO NOW. PAPS WILL COME LATER ON TO WORK SO I'll ASK HIM THEN... UH... I'LL SEE YOU LATER!" Even though he should've been excited, he felt nothing but strange remorse. Guilt that he shouldn't have in his SOUL. Guilt that he could've done something to avoid this. Guilt that it was his fault.

 

 He was about to get up and leave before he thought better of himself. Sans looked back at your tired face, bags of distress under your closed eyes. He leaned down, moving some of the loose strands of hair covering your face and planted a kiss on your forehead. 

 

 "I... I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU." The meaning behind the words were simple. And he hoped you could feel it from him.

 

 Yet before he could stop, he made smaller, quicker kisses down your cheek, suddenly stopping at your lips. He stared at them. So perfect. So pink and... soft. He wondered what they felt like.

 

 He shook his head, a creeping heat rising to his face.  _WHAT THE HECK WAS I JUST THINKING? THIS IS RUDE! I... I NEED TO STOP AND LEAVE. NOW._

 

Sans turned away and went to the door, having already prepared breakfast for Papyrus and you yesterday night. Not feeling hungry, he opened the door and left, closing it behind him softly. He headed towards Snowdin, where his face started heating up even though the cold hit him like a blast. 

 

* * *

 

 After Alphys' practice with him for an hour, she had went back inside to make some tea for them. Which gave him some time to think.

 

 Yesterday... Huh... He tried to think back on what happened...

 

  **FLASHBACK**                                   

 

 He never woke up late, but he guessed today was just one of those slow days. Papyrus should've woken him up! Ah, he guessed Paps just wanted him to rest for once, since he kept pestering him about it. Sans checked Papyrus' door, seeing as he had already left for work. Or for somewhere else.

 

 Sans was tidying his bed when a sharp  _'ding'_ sound echoed in the house. Sans, completely confused, quietly went downstairs, tip-toeing passed you, and opened the door before the bell could be rung again. On the other side stood the candy seller, Grillby, in his swirl glasses and ironed blue outfit, along with his orange cane. 

 

 "CAN I HELP YOU GRILLBY?" Sans spoke in that loud whisper he really needed to work on.

 

 Grillby smiled as he stepped inside, pushing Sans back a little. " _Mind I ask to come inside-_ "

 

 "SSSHHHHH!!!" Sans plastered his gloved hand around Grillby's mouth, silencing him and looking to the side where you slept. Whew, you showed no signs of waking up.

 

 Quietly, before Grillby could question him, Sans led them up to his room where they wouldn't disturb you. Grillby placed his cane against the railings before following Sans, closing the door to a slight crack.

 

 "WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE? YOU COULD'VE WOKEN HER UP YOU DINGUS!"

 

 All Grillby did was smile and sit on his bed. " _Aww, I didn't know the famous royal guardsmen cared about a human._ " 

 

 "I DO CARE. I CARE ABOUT EVERYONE, ACTUALLY! BUT YOU STILL HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION!"

 

 " _That's why you're so adorable and irresistible, darling._ " Grillby whispered as he took Sans' hand in his. " _That's my answer._ "

 

 Sans blushed at the compliment as Grillby pulled him into his lap and kissed him softly on the lips, or teeth, as he lacked. Sans kissed back, feeling his SOUL throb in some kind of guilty pleasure. Maybe it was because you were just downstairs and you could wake up any moment to find them like this.

 

 " _Ngh, this is getting in the way._ " Grillby untied Sans' bandana and threw it on the bed. " _I heard from Alphys that you didnt check in yet, so I figured you'd still be at home._ " He said between kisses and soon moved down to Sans' neck and sucked on the bones.

 

 Sans held in a gasp as he felt Grillby's tongue licking his sensitive parts. "AH, G-GRILLBY..." Grillby's hand was now rubbing the back of his spine, tracing over each piece with slow circles. Sans arched his back, pushing it against his hand, as the pleasure was too great.

 It'd been so long since he and Grillby had done this after all. He was surprised Grillby even remembered where his spots were.

 

 He grunted as he flipped Sans over, now on top and kissing him all over. His glasses had fallen off as his piercing eyes gazed into Sans' own.

 

 Sans held in his breath, afraid he'd be too loud and wake you up. . .

 

 Which was exactly what happened. 

 

 "W-Whose there?" You shouted out, fear drenching your voice. Grillby paused as Sans' eyes widened with fear and recognition.

 

 " _THE CLOSET._ " Sans mouthed as Grillby picked up his glasses quickly and, using his flames, somehow transported Sans and him into the closet, closing the door without a noise in a split second. Well, now Sans knew how Grillby escaped places so quickly.

 

 The door opened with a creak, followed by you stepping in with Grillby's cane held like a bat. He would've found it funny, if not for the awkwardness that'd come between the two of you if you found them. Well, found them  **hiding**.

 

 Slowly, but steadily, you approached Sans' bed, noticing the mess they'd left a second ago.

 

 You... started fixing it? Smoothing the corners and blankets in a neat manor, your face was filled with... something, as Sans stared at you with wide eyes through the closet door's hole. Grillby was behind him, controlling his flames so he wouldn't brighten up the closet and give away their position.

 

 As sans watched, you pulled something from the bed. Something blue. His bandana. Instinctively, his hand reached up to touch his bare neck. Shoot, he'd forgotten to grab it!

 

 As Sans lectured himself, he caught your expression. Your far away eyes. As if, you were staring at something other than his bandana.

 

 As if you were about to cry.

 

 He had to stop himself mentally and physically from running out and hugging you, wrapping you in his arms and telling you everything was okay.

 

 He could feel it. The weakness. It was coming from you, he knew it.

 

 You wiped your eyes and even folded his bandana away, setting it on the bed. You left without another sound, closing the door fully behind you.

 

 When Sans was sure you weren't close by, he came out, followed by Grillby.

 

 Grillby left without saying anything, only giving Sans a small peck on his forehead before climbing out of his window.

 

 Sans didn't move. He felt...wrong. He felt like he betrayed you. He felt like you  _knew_ he betrayed you, when you couldn't have. 

 

 He felt it even though it wasn't there specifically for _him_.

* * *

 

 

 "Sans? You okay, punk?" Sans snapped back into reality as Alphys handed him a cup of tea. Green tea to be exact.

 

 "YEAH, I'M FINE, THANKS ALPHYS!" Sans carefully took the steaming tea, seeing his reflection stare back at him with hollow sockets. The memory was still vivid. 

 

 Yeah, today, he'll make it up to you. He'll make your day a bit better to make up for yesterday. He was sure of it. Even if that guilt he felt from you wasn't for him, he'd do anything,  _anything_ , to make you just a tad bit happier.

 

 He promised it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm deeply sorry for this late chapter! I already had half of it finished and forgot to import the rest! Please accept my apologies x(
> 
>  
> 
> Also, you thought Sans was sin-free? Think again, peasants! }:D  
>  _*evil laughter ensues*_


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How long has it been? Well, long enough for me to forget. Apology for the long wait ^3^
> 
> I got a bit emotional with this one, sorry not sorry :')

 You hate this.

 

 You hate wallowing up in the house in self pity.

 

 You hate seeing your job forums being returned with red "DECLINED" stamps on them.

 

 You hate how you cry by yourself.

 

 But most of all, you hate  _Papyrus_.

 

 The skeleton monster who stole your heart. The one who taught you how to enjoy life. The one who led you on with admiration and love, only to leave you behind with cold stone eyes. Eye-lights that no longer held the same love they had before. 

 

 Before...

 

 Before  **what**?

 

 This is why you hated him. For giving you all this anxiety. For making you scared of losing him. For brewing up your second thoughts. For... loving him.

 

 You love  _Papyrus_. 

 Even if he doesn't anymore.

 You  _love_ him. God, you miss him.

 

 You hate this.

 

* * *

 

 

 You awaken from a nightmare to the sound of soft snoring. Looking to the side, you see Sans still sleeping soundly beside you. Looking around, it looks like Sans' room.

 

 You get up, feeling the dizzy aftermath of yesterday. Sans and you had been at the blazing concert for 3 hours or more before heading home. You don't even remember getting home, to be honest. You hadn't drank like that in a long time, and you had never seen Sans drink like he did. 

 

 You laugh as you start to remember. Ah, it was definitely something you needed. Something to forget the reality of everything falling apart.

 

 And Sans had done all of that just for you. Really, you were grateful. If it wasn't for him, you would've been at home drowning in your own pond of tears. He kept you going, and his energy helped you get out of the house once in a while. He was helpful in every way possible.

 

 Yet for a moment, you couldn't help but wish it had been Papyrus who'd done all of that.

 

 Sans groaned in his sleep, and turned away from you. His armor appeared to have been thrown around the room and it left him in his grey shirt and blue pants. He turned again, this time facing you, as drool started dripping down his face.

 

 You snickered to yourself as you tried to keep in your laughter. It was these kinds of moments that you appreciated the most. You took a quick photo with your phone before leaving him to get his rest. And before you were too loud and woke him up.

 

 Closing his door, you quietly headed downstairs, noticing that Papyrus' door was slightly ajar. He must be at Muffet's, since both brothers should be off today. You checked the time, reading 9 o'clock. It was unusually dark for 9 a.m.

 

 That meant you could still meet him there and talk to him privately.

 

 You grabbed your jacket and headed to the front door, only to stop midway. Was this a good idea? What if there was something you shouldn't see? What if you get hurt? Again?

 

 Well, that was enough to motivate you.

 

 Before you left though, you decided it was best to leave sans a note so he wouldn't worry too much about you. After all, he'd done so much already. You'd hate to worry him again.

* * *

 

 

 You'd seen Muffet once, but only when you looked up the restaurant online after Papyrus mentioned it as his favorite place. He never bothered to introduce you to her, although he told you she was his best friend.

 

 So now, you had to use your GPS on your phone to find the restaurant. Weirdly, it was kinda far, but you forced yourself to walk there. Plus, it was good exercise. 

 

 The snow had let up some, leaving little fluffs of ice to float around gently onto the covered ground. There was probably already a few inches of snow.

 

 Cold but collected, you eventually found your way to the place, seeing warm light soaking through the windows. Smells of fresh goods and brewed tea filled the area as a bright sign flashed  _"Muffet's_ " at the front.

 

 With your fingers about to fall off, you head inside a bit reluctant. Immediately, a woman greeted you with a smile and happily gave you a table and a menu. You said your thanks as she left.

 

 Your eyes instantly scanned the rest of the customers, looking for the signature orange hoodie. There was a variety of different monsters and humans, but none of them what you were searching for. Then you saw him.

 

 At the bar chatting with another girl.

 

 Your stomach churned.

 

 Was... Was that her? No, you have to be logical about her. First off, she was sitting on the stool next to him, and their shoulders were touching. Too close for just strangers. Too close for someone who you would've just met. Too happy to just be friends.

 

 Maybe you hadn't seen Papyrus smile in so long that seeing him do so nonchalantly to someone else made him foreign. So different from the one you get at home. 

 

 It almost wasn't fair.

 

 No, it  _wasn't_ fair. 

 

 What did they have that you didn't? You would change it, you would do whatever you could just to make him fall in love with you again. Just to see him smile like that at you.

 

 But before you had the option, she put her jacket on after hopping off the stool and patted his back. She left without another word, passing by your table as you hid your face with the menu.

 

 It was now or never.

 

 You put the menu down and got up with shaking limbs, making your way to him. He had already ordered another shot from Muffet, who was behind the counter.

 

 "Papyrus..." You spoke above a whisper. You weren't even sure he had heard til you could see his shoulders stiffen at the sound of his name. He turned around with wide eyes. 

 

 "Y-Y/n?"

 

 "Uh, hey. I-" he grabbed your hand, and you felt the uncomfortablness of teleporting. You remember the first time he had done that, and it resulted in you vomiting all over yourself. But you were too distracted to think about the nausea.

 

 You both ended up outside the restaurant, where he dropped your hand and stepped back, away from you. Like he couldn't trust you.

 

 His hands were balled into fists. "What are you doing here?"

 

 "I-I was just looking for you-"

 

 "Bullshit. Were you following me?"

 

 "What? No! Why would you think that? I was just worried about you!" You tried to get closer to him, but he backed away.

 

 "Well I'm fine so go back home."

 

 "No, Pap, we need to talk about this! I'm done with not communicating. I'm done with you acting so cold and distant with me!"

 

 "I don't fucking care, but you need to leave."

 

 "Papyrus please, I just want to talk. You're not like this; this isn't you! You can't keep going on like this.  _I_ can't keep going on like this."

 

 He turned his head. "You don't know anything."

 

 "Because you won't tell me anything!" Your breathing was getting hitched, and you could feel your blood rising. Why was this so hard? Why didn't he want to talk? Finally, you were taking the initiative, the  _courage,_ to say  _something_ , and it's like it didn't even fucking matter, because Papyrus didn't want to cooperate!

 

 "Y/n, you need to calm down. Just breathe." He must've noticed.

 

 But you didn't want to breathe. You didn't want to listen. If only he knew how much you wanted to _stop_ breathing. If only he knew how much everything hurt.

 

 Nonetheless, you did what he said, and started to feel your mind calming. Breathe in, breathe out. Just like that. Then after a while, you felt normal again.

 

 You looked up and tried to meet his eyes,  but his head was still turned the other way. As if he didn't want to see you. Like if he couldn't see you, you would go away. You felt your eyes watering, but refused to let them fall.

 

 "My heart can't take any more of this, Pap."

 

 His fist started shaking, though he still didn't answer.

 

 You gulped. "I thought you said you l-loved me...?"

 

 His head turned around, and his eyes held some sort of desperation, or despair. "Y-Y/n, I..."

 

 The sound of the front door opening distracted both of you. By the door was Muffet herself. She had her lower hands clasped and a small bag in another.

 

 Her voice was like silk, and dripped with too much sweetness. "Is everything alright out here? I thought I heard yelling?"

 

 Papyrus answered first. "Yeah, everything's fine. Having a friendly talk, that's all." He smiled at her. And it wasn't strained.

 

 She giggled. "Well alright then. If you say so, Honey-dew." She gazed at you with six eyes. "And as for you, I'm very truly sorry about his behavior. He's been a bad boy for a while~," she smiled, handing you the small paper bag. "Take these as my apology. It'll be put under his tab, deary, so don't you worry about paying back."

 

 You couldn't speak. You just nodded to her words, feeling weak. 

 

 "I'll... I'll talk to you about this later." His words were directed to you, yet it was like he talked through you. "You should head home. Please."

 

 You nodded blankly as you lowered your head and turned around. You could feel their stares as you walked away, waiting for you to leave.

 

 Hah, no one wanted you around anyway.

 

 Soon, you turned around a corner on the street before recalling a question you should've asked him. You scolded yourself for forgetting and quickly walked back.

 

 You came around the corner. "Hey pap, when are you gonna-"

 

 

 Your bag drops.

 

 

 Time stops. And for this one moment, you finally see it. 

 

 His mouth is connected to another's. Muffet's. A kiss filled with raw passion and emotion. All out in the open.

 

Right after you left. 

 

 Their embrace is so loving and obsessive that it makes you think the love you once had with Papyrus was child's play. Fool's Gold.

 

 Nothing compared to what you saw.

 

 At first, you thought you were dying. A SOUL fracture, probably. But you were there. Holding the wall for support as you watched the make out session. Maybe it was out of jealousy. Maybe curiosity at what was better than you. Maybe you were paralyzed.

 

 Muffet had been the one to pull away and drag Pap back into the store by the hand. And they disappeared. But you didn't. You stayed there, contemplating. 

 

 He'd stayed there for  _her_. He didn't talk to you because of  _her_. He... didn't love you anymore. That's why he hesitated then.

 

 And he was afraid to tell you...

 Because he'd look like the bad guy, right?

 

 You felt the tears streak your face. Hot and painful and everything you didn't need right now. No, you shouldn't be crying. You had to stop it. Your vision grew blurry, and you were constantly wiping your eyes. Crying wouldn't do anything, but it was the only thing you  _could_ do.

 

**This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening.**

 

 The cold air whipped through your tangled hair as you ran as fast as you could. Away from everything. Away from the truth you didn't want to realize. Away from _him_.

 

 You ended up in a different section of the city that you'd never been to, but you didn't care. You were ugly crying now, snot everywhere and hiccups every second or so. With people around, they didn't give you a second glance as you rushed passed them.

 

 You found an alleyway between these two buildings, and took shelter there to rest. Your boots were wet and your hands were turning purple. Your lungs were burning and your face was dry with tears and snot. You sniffled. You couldn't feel your toes. It was cold.

 

 You sat down, breathing hard and pulling your knees up to your chest. And you cried again, like a lost child.

 

 You felt numb. You were numb.

 

 But this hurt so fucking much.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _;) ___  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> Also, my Papyrus here can only teleport when feeling an intense emotion or if it's unexpected, so he can't necessarily use it all the time... to his unfortunance -3-
> 
>    
> What would You do now? Pacifist or Genocide?

**Author's Note:**

> Smile, because you look more beautiful when you do ;)


End file.
